Isn’t that the million-dollar question? For some of us, it is not just about what attracts a man, but figuring out what makes him stick around. You do not want to bounce between happy and depressed, waiting for texts and the next time you will see him. That uncertainty can make dating exhausting. You want something steadier than waiting for signs and guessing what every message means. A lasting connection should not leave you constantly wondering where you stand.

That is why “Rules” books sold so quickly. Apparently, it is all about figuring out what his game is and what makes him tick. With The Rules, it means making yourself unavailable and letting him chase you. Playing hard to get, because a man supposedly likes to hunt. Sigh. Yawn. Aren’t we tired of the games yet? Aren’t we tired of trying to figure out what a man wants? Trying to pretzel yourself into the shape you think he wants can be exhausting.

Are we tired of trying to figure out what a man wants and pretzeling ourselves into that shape? Or perhaps you are so angry about having to play that game that every man who comes along is frightened of you. Should you hide your feelings, act eternally cheerful, call him to show interest, or forget about him and move on? None of these choices guarantees warm, fuzzy romance. You should not have to pretend that nothing could make you sad or angry

There is no one-size-fits-all answer. All of us have weaknesses in relationships: clingy, reserved, snobbish, insecure, too vulnerable, or too hard. Your guy has weaknesses too, however amazing, chiseled, or successful he is. Getting to the next step takes time, patience, and a willingness to know someone beyond first dates and wild attraction. Give men a chance when you might think, “Eh, I don’t know.” Ask yourself whether what you have been doing is working; if not, try something new.